Fear brings out the best or the worst in people. Usually for me it has been the worst. My instincts were to kill the things I feared when possible and to run from them when impossible. As I’ve gotten more skilled with my weapons, killing has gotten easier. Although recently I have been fighting obviously evil things like drow, driders and other creatures who would have killed me. Is it alright to kill obviously evil things?
I don’t sleep well that night. I had taken first watch and had been feeling a little tipsy from the ale. In normal situations I don’t drink so the little bit of ale Logen had given me may have been a little too much. When my shift is over, I wake Kaer and attempt to sleep. At least the ale made me sleepy.
I’m back in my mother’s bedroom and she is lying in her bed and there is blood all over. A small tiefling baby is on the bed in front of her.
‘Dearest, kill it! That beast clawed its way out of me. Take the dagger from my nighttable’, my mother shrieks.
I pull out my daggers and start stabbing it. At first it has Amelia’s face and then Kaer’s. I plunge the dagger in again and again to my mother’s encouragement.
‘Abrogail, meet your little brother’, she gestures to the small dead bloody creature that still lies on her bed.
Kaer, with his perfect dark vision, notices Sophia struggling in her bedroll. As he approaches, he sees a flash of fire light off of the 2 daggers as Sophia draws them in her hands. He knows nothing has approached and Sophia has a blank look on her face. He grabs Sophia by each wrist. Sophia fights with him but he is too strong.
“Sophia, wake up, it is just a dream.”
I awake with a start. I’m sitting in my bed but my arms are pinned. I thrash around trying to break free but whoever is holding me is strong. I glance up, it’s Kaer and he’s alive. I look around in a panic until I see Amelia also safely asleep in her bedroll.
“You can let me go now Kaer, everything is alright.”, I turn back to face him, trying to calm down. I give him a forced smile which I don’t feel. I force myself to lie back down and try to sleep again.
I am back lying down in the alley. My arms are held above my head by Marcus, one of Zincher’s men. The other man gets up now that he too has finished his ‘business’. My whole body hurts and I am bleeding. I try to cover my body with my ripped dress. I wish I had a needle and thread. I wish I had taken Saul’s advice and carried a dagger.
An old woman with a slop bucket a few windows over yells at me, “Child, take your tricks somewhere else!” Her slop bucket comes close but she wasn’t quite strong enough to hit me.
I am back in an alley, hiding. I stab Marcus in the back as he passes my hiding place in the alley. He falls straight on his face and I laugh. I hear his half-orc buddy scream something at me, and I run down the alley and find another hiding place. Murgash walks slowly down the alley with his axe in hand. He misses my hiding place, I guess because he never would have thought I could fit in such a small place. I stab him in the side, he drops but rolls back up to his feet. He approaches and swings his axe towards my head. I dodge but his other hand grabs my right wrist.
‘Looks, like you just couldn’t resist my charms now could you dearie?", Murgash drops the axe in his right hand and rips my dress open. Luckily he doesn’t notice the dagger hidden in my left hand which I plunge into his back as he bends down to kiss me.
I look down at Huzzah’s dead body in front of me, his drow skin quickly pealing away.
‘Revenge is mine…’, I think. I expect to feel triumphant but tears come to my eyes. Whoever said revenge is sweet? Maybe I’m doing it wrong…
Finally it is morning and the dreams have ended, most of my friends are still alive. Huzzah though is still dead. I feel awful, I probably look awful. I grab one of the waterskins off the dead drow and use that to clean my face as best I can.
“Amelia, can you help me by putting on my makeup?”, I ask then mutter to myself, “I can’t let him see me like this.”
“You can’t let who see you like this.”
“Oh! Umm, no one.”
“You know you really should just do it yourself, just take this mirror, I don’t really know anything about applying makeup to a human.”
“No!! No mirrors! I can’t bear looking in a mirror, I fear I’m going to see a drow reflection and that’s the last thing I need right now.”
“You are yourself again, Sophia.”
“No, no I’m not.”, I respond dejectedly and then think to myself; I’m not really even Sophia that is just another mask I have worn. I will never really be myself again.